Вот мой подарок учителям (особенно те, кто английский преподают, думаю, его лучше всего оценят).
“I have never been able to understand why small children are so disguising. They are the bane of my life. They are like insects. They should be got rid of as early as possible. We get rid of flies with fly-spray and by hanging up fly-paper. I have often thought of inventing a spray for getting rid of small children. How splendid it would be to walk into this classroom with a gigantic spray-gun in my hands and start pumping it. Or better still, some huge strips of sticky paper. I would hand them all round the school and you’d all get stuck to them and that would be the end of it. Wouldn’t that be a good idea, Miss Honey?”
“If it’s meant to be a joke, Headmistress, I don’t think it’s a very funny one,” Miss Honey said from the back of the class.
“You wouldn’t, would you, Miss Honey,” the Trunchbull said. “And it’s not meant to be a joke. My idea of a perfect school, Miss Honey, is one that has no children in it at all.”
(From “Matilda” by Roald Dahl)