November 12th, 2011

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Tis the voice of the Lobster

'Tis the voice of the sluggard; I heard him complain,
"You have wak'd me too soon, I must slumber again."
As the door on its hinges, so he on his bed,
Turns his sides and his shoulders and his heavy head.

"A little more sleep, and a little more slumber;"
Thus he wastes half his days, and his hours without number,
And when he gets up, he sits folding his hands,
Or walks about sauntering, or trifling he stands.

I pass'd by his garden, and saw the wild brier,
The thorn and the thistle grown broader and higher;
The clothes that hang on him are turning to rags;
And his money still wastes till be starves or he begs.

I made him a visit, still hoping to find
That he took better care for improving his mind:
He told me his dream, talked of eating and drinking;
But he scarce reads his Bible, and never loves thinking.

Said I then to my heart, "Here's a lesson for me,"
This man's a picture of what I might be:
But thanks to my friends for their care in my breeding,
Who taught me betimes to love working and reading

(c) The Sluggard (Isaac Watts)
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Советы начинающим искусствоведам…

… или как не быть дауном в разговоре с ценителем искусств.

1. Если видишь на картине темный фон и всяческие страдания на лицах - это Тициан.

2. Если на картине вот такенные жопы и целлюлит даже у мужиков Collapse )

Все комментарии о художниках заимствованы отсюда, хотя автором оригинального текста является зажигательная "девочка Маша из Казани" (см. комментарии). Если привсем-притом кто-то решит скопировать этот пост, я требую ссылки на ЖЖ ilfasidoroff.

И от себя: Данный пассаж навеян размышлениями о романе Бриджид Брофи "Flesh", главный герой которого незаметно превращается в женщину Рубенса.